SECTION 1 — INTRO

The Hellbender Coaching Approach

A 20-Minute Coaching Companion for Coaches and Coachees

Short coaching conversations can create powerful clarity when both participants share a simple structure for the discussion.

How to Use This Guide

This guide outlines a focused 20-minute coaching conversation.

The coach asks questions.
The client reflects, explores perspective, and identifies next steps.

The purpose is not to solve everything in one conversation.
The purpose is to gain clarity and identify a useful way forward.

The Hellbender Coaching Approach

People often feel stuck in patterns. Insight appears when the assumption behind the pattern surfaces.

Coaching helps bring those patterns into view.

During the conversation the client may:

• notice patterns
• question assumptions
• shift perspective
• choose a meaningful next step

This supports neuro-agile thinking — the ability to notice patterns, adjust perspective, and respond intentionally.

Sometimes the most important realization is that we can unscrew stuck thinking. Trusting the client holds the tool needed to shift the pattern.

When the underlying assumption becomes visible, the client can begin to unscrew the pattern themselves, adjusting their point of view and opening new possibilities.

Stuck isn’t broken.
Sometimes a pattern simply needs to be unscrewed.

SECTION 2 — THE PROCESS

The Hellbender Coaching Conversation

A coaching session moves through seven simple steps.

Step 1 — Consent & Permission (1 minute)
Confirm agreement and readiness to begin.

Step 2 — Open the Session (2 minutes)
Understand how the client is arriving.

Step 3 — Clarify the Session Goal (3 minutes)
Define what would make the conversation worthwhile.

Step 4 — Explore the Situation (5 minutes)
Examine the challenge and surface patterns.

Step 5 — Integrate New Awareness (5 minutes)
Generate insight and shift perspective.

Step 6 — Design a Plan of Action (3 minutes)
Identify a useful next step.

Step 7 — Takeaways & Close (1 minute)
Capture learning and close the conversation.

Key Questions in Each Step

Step 1 — Consent & Permission (1 minute)

Before we begin, I’d like to confirm a couple of things.

I am working with a coach mentor as part of my professional development. Is it okay if I audio record this session and share it with my mentor?

This is a 20-minute coaching conversation where I’ll ask questions and reflect what I’m hearing while you explore the situation and decide what actions feel useful.

Coaching isn’t therapy or counseling; the goal is to help you gain clarity and identify a next step.

Do I have your consent to proceed?

Step 2 — Open the Session (2 minutes)

Let the client settle into the conversation and share what feels most present.

• How are you arriving today?

Possible follow-ups if helpful:

• What has been going well recently?
• What feels most on your mind right now?
• What seems to need attention today?

Optional check-ins

• sleep
• stress
• work
• relationships
• energy

Step 3 — Clarify the Goal (3 minutes)

• What would make this conversation worthwhile today?

Follow-ups:

• If this conversation is useful, what will be different afterward?
• What would you like to walk away with?

Optional framing:

At the end of this session you will have…

Example:

A clearer way to approach a conversation with a manager.

Step 4 — Explore the Situation (5 minutes)

Take time to understand the situation and notice what patterns may be present.

• When does this situation tend to show up most?
• What usually happens when it does?
• What thoughts come up for you in those moments?
• What feels most challenging about it?

As the conversation unfolds, listen for patterns in thoughts, emotions, or assumptions that may be shaping the experience.

Sometimes simply noticing the pattern makes room for a new perspective.

Step 5 — Integrate New Awareness (5 minutes)

🔧 The Unscrew Moment

Sometimes a situation feels stuck because an assumption has quietly tightened the pattern.

Coaching helps the client recognize that they hold the tool needed to loosen that assumption.

When the assumption becomes visible, the client can begin to unscrew the pattern themselves, adjusting their perspective and opening new possibilities.

Questions that can open this moment:

• What assumption might be shaping how you’re seeing this situation?
• What belief might be influencing how you’re approaching it?
• What might change if that assumption loosened?

Allow space for reflection.

When the assumption becomes visible, new possibilities often appear.

Awareness Bridge

Situation → Meaning → Perspective → Possibility

Insight often emerges as the conversation moves through four stages.

Situation
Can you say more about what’s happening?

Meaning
What thoughts come up when that occurs?

Perspective
What assumptions might be shaping that view?

Possibility
Given that realization, what becomes possible?

This shift reflects neuro-agile thinking — the ability to notice patterns, adjust perspective, and respond intentionally.

The conversation moves the client from description → insight → action.

Step 6 — Design Plan of Action (3 minutes)

• What is a useful first step forward?
• What might get in the way?
• What support could help?

The client chooses the action.

Step 7 — Takeaways & Close (1 minute)

• What stands out from our conversation?
• What will you carry forward from today?

SECTION 3 — COACHING PRACTICE

Coaching Principles

Effective coaching conversations rely on a few simple practices.

• Use the client’s own language when reflecting
• Stay curious and non-assuming
• Listen for emerging insight
• Let the client generate their own solutions

What Makes a Strong Coaching Conversation

In most effective sessions:

• the client speaks 70–80% of the time
• the coach asks open questions
• insight emerges naturally
• the client defines their own next step

Avoid:

• giving advice
• suggesting solutions
• explaining frameworks
• leading the client

The coach’s role is curiosity, not direction.

After the Session

For the Client

• What insight stood out?
• What action will I take?
• What support might help?

For the Coach

• Where did awareness emerge?
• What language did the client use?
• What might I explore differently next time?

One Final Coaching Tip

When insight appears, pause.

Instead of moving on immediately, ask:

“What are you noticing right now?”

This allows the client to articulate the realization in their own words.

SECTION 4 — THE MODEL

The Hellbender Coaching Loop

Every conversation follows a simple progression.

Consent → Arrival → Goal → Explore → Unscrew → Insight → Action → Integration

Small shifts in perspective can create meaningful forward movement.

Sample Coaching Agreement

20-Minute Hellbender Coaching Conversation

Purpose

This coaching conversation provides a focused space for reflection, perspective, and forward movement.

The goal is to help the client explore a situation, gain insight, and identify a meaningful next step.

Nature of Coaching

Coaching is a collaborative conversation that supports learning and awareness.

During the session:

• the coach asks questions and reflects observations
• the client explores their thinking and perspective
• the client chooses any actions or next steps

Coaching is not therapy, counseling, legal advice, or consulting.

Session Structure

Sessions typically last about 20 minutes and follow a simple structure:

• Confirm agreement and readiness
• Clarify the focus of the conversation
• Explore the situation and underlying patterns
• Generate insight and perspective
• Identify a useful next step

The conversation may adapt naturally depending on the client’s needs.

Client Responsibility

The client agrees to:

• bring a topic they would like to explore
• participate openly in the conversation
• take responsibility for decisions and actions following the session

Coach Responsibility

The coach agrees to:

• maintain a curious, non-judgmental stance
• listen actively and ask thoughtful questions
• support the client’s learning and self-directed action

Confidentiality

Information shared during the coaching conversation will be treated as confidential unless disclosure is required by law.

If the session is recorded for professional development or credentialing purposes, the client’s permission will be requested in advance.

Consent to Proceed

By beginning the coaching conversation, both coach and client acknowledge their understanding of this agreement and consent to proceed.

Example Verbal Opening (30 seconds)

Before we begin, I’d like to confirm our coaching agreement.

This conversation is a 20-minute coaching session designed to help you explore a situation, gain perspective, and identify a useful next step.

I’ll be asking questions and reflecting what I hear while you decide what insights or actions feel meaningful.

Coaching is not therapy or consulting.

Everything shared here will remain confidential unless otherwise required by law.

Does that sound good to you, and what would you like to focus on today?